"I see you." -Avatar

In the movie "Avatar" there is an expression that gets to me--- "I see you." The Avatars, when they say it, mean they see who you ARE. They see your soul. When I heard the expression in the movie, I was seriously impacted by it. It made so much sense and it made me wish the world was more interested in "seeing." It made me want to "see" and be "seen" more often.

I think deep down I've always wanted to "see" and to be "seen"-- I think we all do. And, as I think about it, it seems like the only way, or at least the best, of seeing pure truth in human relations. Few things truly get my attention, but pure truth is one of them. I've concluded that, if we "see" more often, we will be better people and get the juice out of life. By the same token, I think that our unwillingness (lack of desire or fear, whatever we want to call it) to "see" is making us loose human connection with others and to ourselves. And even to nature and God.

It seems hard to "see" because it requires real human connections to take place, an acceptance of reality as it is and as we want it to be, and a level of vulnerability. But the reward seems worth it. Now I am definitely not the best at this "sight" thing, but I can't deny that there is nothing in life better than feeling--no, BEING--understood and appreciated. Or, as I interpret it, "seen."

I hope that the people in my life "see" me and that I could "see" them.

What is it?!

I am very nervous! For the last few days I have had a bad pain on my lower right ab. My dad had appendicitis when he was a bit younger than me, so I am very nervous that it will be the same thing--or something worse. Please, God, don't let it be bad. This whole day has been quite a bad day when it comes to this. It was a slight discomfort this morning but now it is a pain that doesn't go away. Its causing my right leg to be numb. In fact, my right leg has been numb to some degree almost this entire day. Honestly, I am terrified right now! I don't know how to sleep tonight because I am thinking so much. I think writing helps me feel a bit more calm. Somehow letting the panic be said makes me feel a little relieved. However, I am still at the level of fear because when my dad had appendicitis, his appendix exploded all of a sudden! I DON'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN TO ME! I wanted to wait for the BYU Health Center to open tomorrow morning so that I don't have to pay so much, but I don't want to risk dying or having it explode. I think I might get up and go to the ER right now.